I have been reading Beth Moore's new book,
"So Long Insecurity...", and have been awakened to my own insecurities. We women, and mommies, put way too much pressure on ourselves and each other to be perfect and to have everything together. I feel this pressure most as a mommy. I find myself hiding the bad days and highlighting the good ones. I try not to let people see me come unglued and I am in constant pursuit of perfection. I worry about what my kids are wearing, what I'm wearing, how they act in front of others, how many activities I have them involved in, how many times a day I read to them, what I feed them, and so on and so on... the blogging world has made this a much more prevalent issue for me. I read all of these super-mom posts from people I know and I immediately get down on myself and how I'm doing as a mother-of-two.
So, I have decided to set myself free. I am going to tell you all the truth...and I am not going to worry if your kids are better behaved than mine, or if they dress cuter than mine, or if I'm a bad mother...none of that. Here are a few truths about my life as a mommy right now:
- we have a lot of good days around here
- we also have some bad ones
- at least two days a week, the kids and I wear our pajamas all day long and then change into new pj's at bedtime
- I have made Wyatt a lunch of fruit snacks, crackers, and cereal more times than I can count
- while they looked cute, I wish my kids had looked cuter and more together on Easter Sunday
- on any given day, it will look like a bomb has gone off in my house
- I only read to Wyatt once today, and didn't read to him at all yesterday
- there is laundry sitting in my washing machine that has been there for 3 days now (gross, I know) because I've just been too busy to go in there
- I keep telling myself that I'm going to iron those clothes on my closet floor, but never get around to it
- I let Wyatt have a sip of my Coca-Cola at breakfast
- I haven't had a shower in 2 days...sometimes I go 3 without one...again with the busy-ness (if I don't sweat, I don't worry about it)
- the other day, it was 4pm and it dawned on me that I hadn't had lunch...so I ate a Little Debbie
- I still wear my maternity jeans sometimes because they're comfortable
- I ran out of eyeshadow almost 2 years ago, but would rather buy Reagan a new outfit than replace it
- we use food to bribe Wyatt to do "tricks"
- I collapse into bed every night with a huge sigh and am asleep within 3 minutes
- instead of cleaning my house, I'm blogging right now
I just think that we all put up this front because we think everyone is doing so much better than we are...that they're handling this mommy thing better...that we're not perfect and that we should be....
It's all such a bunch of bologna! Just so we're clear...I am not perfect. I am not the perfect mother. There are only 24 hours in a day. My children are not the perfect children. I try desperately to be perfect but usually fall short...such is human nature. It is by the grace of God alone that I make it through most days. It is so freeing to type those words. I hope that me filling you in on some of my secrets makes you feel freer too! Let's stop putting up the front and start calling things honestly, and leaning on God's loving arms to get through it all!
