I have been reading Beth Moore's new book, "So Long Insecurity...", and have been awakened to my own insecurities. We women, and mommies, put way too much pressure on ourselves and each other to be perfect and to have everything together. I feel this pressure most as a mommy. I find myself hiding the bad days and highlighting the good ones. I try not to let people see me come unglued and I am in constant pursuit of perfection. I worry about what my kids are wearing, what I'm wearing, how they act in front of others, how many activities I have them involved in, how many times a day I read to them, what I feed them, and so on and so on... the blogging world has made this a much more prevalent issue for me. I read all of these super-mom posts from people I know and I immediately get down on myself and how I'm doing as a mother-of-two.So, I have decided to set myself free. I am going to tell you all the truth...and I am not going to worry if your kids are better behaved than mine, or if they dress cuter than mine, or if I'm a bad mother...none of that. Here are a few truths about my life as a mommy right now:
- we have a lot of good days around here
- we also have some bad ones
- at least two days a week, the kids and I wear our pajamas all day long and then change into new pj's at bedtime
- I have made Wyatt a lunch of fruit snacks, crackers, and cereal more times than I can count
- while they looked cute, I wish my kids had looked cuter and more together on Easter Sunday
- on any given day, it will look like a bomb has gone off in my house
- I only read to Wyatt once today, and didn't read to him at all yesterday
- there is laundry sitting in my washing machine that has been there for 3 days now (gross, I know) because I've just been too busy to go in there
- I keep telling myself that I'm going to iron those clothes on my closet floor, but never get around to it
- I let Wyatt have a sip of my Coca-Cola at breakfast
- I haven't had a shower in 2 days...sometimes I go 3 without one...again with the busy-ness (if I don't sweat, I don't worry about it)
- the other day, it was 4pm and it dawned on me that I hadn't had lunch...so I ate a Little Debbie
- I still wear my maternity jeans sometimes because they're comfortable
- I ran out of eyeshadow almost 2 years ago, but would rather buy Reagan a new outfit than replace it
- we use food to bribe Wyatt to do "tricks"
- I collapse into bed every night with a huge sigh and am asleep within 3 minutes
- instead of cleaning my house, I'm blogging right now
I just think that we all put up this front because we think everyone is doing so much better than we are...that they're handling this mommy thing better...that we're not perfect and that we should be....
It's all such a bunch of bologna! Just so we're clear...I am not perfect. I am not the perfect mother. There are only 24 hours in a day. My children are not the perfect children. I try desperately to be perfect but usually fall short...such is human nature. It is by the grace of God alone that I make it through most days. It is so freeing to type those words. I hope that me filling you in on some of my secrets makes you feel freer too! Let's stop putting up the front and start calling things honestly, and leaning on God's loving arms to get through it all!
8 comments:
Great post momma! No one would ever think you're a bad mom for any of that stuff. I'm not a mom yet and I've already figured out that the thing is, most days moms (esp those of young ones) are just trying to get by the best that they can. Sometimes that means no shower for a few days or leaving laundry in the washing machine. (btw, i have officially washed the same towels 4 times now b/c i keep leaving them in the washing machine until they stink OR the dryer doesnt get them dry b/c i didnt set the time long enough and they started stinking again. they are in my washing machine waiting to be put in the dryer as i type this... probably starting to stink. AGAIN.) As long as your children are clean (most of the time), fed, changed, and know that they are loved, that is all that matters. Let go of what we all think and if you must think about it, know that we all think youre doing a great job, even on the days where it is only getting by with the best that you can do that day.
PS. I'd put money on the fact that all of those other "super moms" are only highlighting the good on their blogs.
Hey eden..I found your blog on another friends blog and I just have to say....I totally understand what you are saying. I read some blogs and i am like wow I wish I was as creative as they are! They look like they have it completely together. I must admit I have felt pretty insecure as a new mom, but it is nice to hear that there is another mom out there that forgets to eat and wears pj's all day long because I do the same thing. oh and by the way your kids are super adorable and it looks like they have it pretty good too :).
Hey Eden!
Your days sound exactly like mine with a 22 month old and 3 year old!! I love what you said and agree that it's time we stop comparing ourselves to other "super" moms! They don't exist and the enemy is just messing with us by allowing us to think they do! Being a mommy is so fun but can be very humbling and hard some days! If I had a post for every time my kids threw public tantrums and I gave them lollypops to quiet down or lacked in the nutrition area feeding my kids mac and cheese 5 nights in a row that is probably almost all people would read about! :) Thanks for the uplifting and real post!
Oh haha and now that I am pregnant with baby 3 the hours my poor 3 year old sits on the couch with me and watches TV while I fight off nausea probably would have any pediatrician worried! And the fact that he can name any show on Noggin or Nick Jr too! haha
you just blessed me. thank you for your words. Im not even a mother yet, but you completely hit home with me on so many levels. Thanks for your honesty. Love you
so true eden!! thanks for the wonderful encouragement. i think we all can relate on some level...i often read people's blogs that have a lot of kids and they seem so together and i only have ONE!! and we should start using our blogs more for telling our "trials" then all the joys in our lives. i'll try to do that more. i would be updating every hour!! :)
Love the post. I can totally relate to not showering everyday. Sometimes I change Abby out of her pajamas right before Reynolds gets home so he does not think she has been in them all day.Sometimes I don't even bother to change them at all.
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